How do I decide between ending a relationship to avoid the pain it brings, or toughing it out for the few good times that we still seem to have?

Hey April thanks for submitting your question. I understand where you are coming from, because relationships can bring us pain, however; God’s Word can help us avoid the pain that some relationships can bring. The question that you need to answer is “why am I with this person?” If you are just out to have a good time, then you will disappointed in the end simply because relationships take work and it’s not always fun.

God doesn’t tell us who we should get hooked up with, but He does tell us who not to get hooked up with. 2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us ^“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? You have to be on the same page with that person. As a Christian, our relationship with Christ is the most important thing; if we do not share that connection there will always be pain and disappointment. The second question you should ask yourself: “is this a person I could marry down the road?” What kind of character does this person have? The Bible gives us some pretty good insight on what type of person we should be looking for.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Let’s break it down

Love—is this person a loving person? Do they sacrificially love me?

Joy—does this person have the exuberant Spirit that lives in the life of a man of faith?

Peace—does this person have peace with God through Christ. Is this person anxious and worried all the time? Does she or he have a calming nature?

Patience—is this person able to delay gratification, are they disciplined the way they handle finances and time? Is this person as patient with you or demanding?

Kindness—is this person truly kind? Whatever you do, pick someone who is kind.

Goodness—is this person basically good? Do they have strong morals to stand up for what is right?

Faithfulness—this is the mark of a true believer, someone who is always there, consistent and honest. Is the one you’re with faithful or flaky? Is this person sensitive to your needs and feelings or cold and macho?

Self control—does this person control their speech? Does this person control the sex drive? Or does this person always want to go off road and jump in the back seat?

GOD WANTS US TO HIT ON ALL CYLINDERS

Can you imagine being hooked up with someone and not being able to share that which is the most near and dear to you with that person? As a Christian, our relationship with Christ is the deepest thing in our lives. What is it that gives you meaning? You have to have that in common. What kind of person do you want to be with? Until you’ve got that dynamic down, your relationship will never hit on all cylinders. Even though it may cause you pain, it is better to get out of that relationship and focus one that has more meaning. I hope that this has been helpful to you.

John Lee