The question you ask is a tough one. There is no single answer that I can give you that is the "medicine" that cures every reason a person walks away from Godly living. Remember that not even the earthly presence of Jesus was enough to change the hearts of everyone that met Him.
Yet that being said many peoples hearts have changed to the better regarding their relationship to GOD. I am going to list things that you can do in an effort to reach your husband.
Let's start with prayer.
A. Prayer
This may seem so obvious that you may pass by it too quickly. However it is where we should start.
1. Prayer for yourself (it starts with GOD and me)
We should always pray first about our own heart. It is always right that we pray for GOD to take charge of our lives. Remember words are worthless if they are not honest reflections of our heart. David said:
I have considered my ways
and have turned
my steps to your statutes.
---Psalm 119:59
2. Prayer for your husband (Intercessory prayer)
There are two points I would like to recommend here . They are first don't give up on praying for your husband . Secondly do not underestimate GOD in all of this. He is All knowing, All wise, All powerful and the totality of goodness.
Do not ever think that when we pray, giving an issue into HIS hands that HE is not doing something with it. Yes HE is limited, in a sense by our free will, but the more we pray the more HE acts upon the prayer.
Several times Jesus pointed out that our persistence in prayer causes GOD to respond more. Why I don't know. But that is the truth of it. (Luke 11:1-10)
"...yet because of the man' persistence
he will get up and
give him all that he needs"
----Luke 11:8b
Now you may be thinking, "Is this really about prayer?" The answer is yes this was an example Christ used to illustrate a principal about prayer.
3. Pray all the time (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
"pray continually"
It used to be that when I prayed about something I prayed once or twice. That was about it. A friend of mine used to say , "GOD is not deaf". That made sense to me . So I got the idea in my head that once or twice was enough. But that's not true the scriptures tell us to pray often about important things.
The prophet Daniel prayed for twenty one days (Daniel 10:1-14) about an issue dear to him. All the time there were battles in heavenly places about that prayer. On the twenty first day the answer came.
I have sometimes wondered what would have happened if he had stopped praying prematurely say on the tenth day or eighteenth.
I think this piece of scripture was not placed there by accident. I am very sure GOD wanted us to see the need to pray without giving up regardless of the results we see.
B. Set the Example ( It starts with us)
Ultimately the only person you can control is you. You are the only person GOD holds you accountable for.
Putting your husbands behaviour aside (because ultimately only he can control
that) I recommend that you sit down and list not just areas in which you could improve regarding him but also regarding your walk with GOD.
Please don't get frustrated with me on this. I know that you are already trying hard. But it is very helpful to put things on paper where you can see, review and modify things over time.
Something thoughtfully written out often helps to clarify a sensible way of going about things.
A word of caution here. Don't do anything with the motive that he will see me doing this and feel guilty about his ways. That can make you like a Pharisee and you don't want that.
However when we are really right with GOD it sets HIS Spirit that is within us (Ephesians 1:13-14, 4:30, 5:18) free to do GOD'S work without hindrance.
C. Follow the Biblical order (Matthew 18:15-20)
1. Go to him by yourself (Matthew 18:15)
I would write down ahead of time just what you want to say. Writing things down helps to clarify your thoughts.
Carefully think out the best time, place and way of telling him what's on your heart. You may want to ask someone to pray at that exact time for what you are doing.
2. Go to him with someone you both have confidence in and who is spiritually mature (Matthew 18:16)
This helps to get a fresh insightful perspective into the situation. This may be a difficult thing to do.
But if you have friend(s) that are close enough to you both and you choose a non threatening setting like dinner, to watch a football game, fishing, golf and other things that you know would appeal to your husband. Perhaps the environment may be conducive to a conversation that would touch his heart.
3. Bring a pastor or leader of the church together with you (Matthew 18:17)
This brings a trusted authority into the situation. Our church has a recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. Pastor Pete Cotto is the one to contact about this.
D. Other Possibilities
1. Join a small group and invite him to come
2. Invite him to special events
3. If you have a mutual friend who goes to a men's small group you may ask that friend to call and invite your husband to go.
4. Try to get him to go for walks with you. Pray the whole time. Do not be quick to get to the subject that is so dear to you. Let GOD take charge and see what happens.
The issue you wrestle with is a difficult one . As you know there are no guarantees that your husband will come around. Yet many times people do come around. I have seen situations turn around that I thought would not.
My thoughts and my prayers are with you Freeze.
Don
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
that) I recommend that you sit down and list not just areas in which you could improve regarding him but also regarding your walk with GOD.
Please don't get frustrated with me on this. I know that you are already trying hard. But it is very helpful to put things on paper where you can see, review and modify things over time.
Something thoughtfully written out often helps to clarify a sensible way of going about things.
A word of caution here. Don't do anything with the motive that he will see me doing this and feel guilty about his ways. That can make you like a Pharisee and you don't want that.
However when we are really right with GOD it sets HIS Spirit that is within us (Ephesians 1:13-14, 4:30, 5:18) free to do GOD'S work without hindrance.
C. Follow the Biblical order (Matthew 18:15-20)
1. Go to him by yourself (Matthew 18:15)
I would write down ahead of time just what you want to say. Writing things down helps to clarify your thoughts.
Carefully think out the best time, place and way of telling him what's on your heart. You may want to ask someone to pray at that exact time for what you are doing.
2. Go to him with someone you both have confidence in and who is spiritually mature (Matthew 18:16)
This helps to get a fresh insightful perspective into the situation. This may be a difficult thing to do.
But if you have friend(s) that are close enough to you both and you choose a non threatening setting like dinner, to watch a football game, fishing, golf and other things that you know would appeal to your husband. Perhaps the environment may be conducive to a conversation that would touch his heart.
3. Bring a pastor or leader of the church together with you (Matthew 18:17)
This brings a trusted authority into the situation. Our church has a recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. Pastor Pete Cotto is the one to contact about this.
D. Other Possibilities
1. Join a small group and invite him to come
2. Invite him to special events
3. If you have a mutual friend who goes to a men's small group you may ask that friend to call and invite your husband to go.
4. Try to get him to go for walks with you. Pray the whole time. Do not be quick to get to the subject that is so dear to you. Let GOD take charge and see what happens.
The issue you wrestle with is a difficult one . As you know there are no guarantees that your husband will come around. Yet many times people do come around. I have seen situations turn around that I thought would not.
My thoughts and my prayers are with you Freeze.
Don
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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